1 " /> Genderizing Boys vs Girls Inbode-for-you

Blue Boy Badge vs Pink Girl Badge!!.

Boys Vs Girls

My midnight musings got me scribble in Pink & Blue tonight. Talking about Pink, I still have to watch the Shoojit Sircar masterwork. The youth-centric film has created much of an uproar amongst all and moreover with such felicitous reviews I feel it is something not to be missed on.  Howbeit we are living in the Times of Intolerance,  we explicitly express  our restiveness towards anything or everything trying to intrude in our fictive perfect world. Violence and war reminds me of my ‘Pink’ friend who is fighting for our country in such pivotal times today. By referring to her as  my Pink friend, I imply that she too was ‘Genderized’ when young like the majority of us, that even her childhood encircled around those pinks , satins and  fair-skinned dolls. But she chose to stand against all the odds, she broke the norms and picked to play with cannons instead so that we all could sleep in peace every night.

I am a Mother & a Scholar of Arts with keen interest in Gender studies. I must confess that my endeavours to learn more about humanity has left the mother in me weak-kneed and distressed. It is indeed difficult and quite challenging a job to bring  the children up in this age of too much information and where technology is at their finger tips.What can I do to not raise another child that would not treat the inhabiters of its own society differently, that he/she would think beyond the binaries that form the base of our social construct. Owing to what the current situation is, this needs to end someday. Blacks of-course wouldn’t want to be looked down with disgust always, Women do not want to be forever stared like they come from some alien la-la land & Men can’t take the blame game perpetually. Beginning from ‘kya hua ladka ya ladki???’  to ‘sex toh bta doh??’‘ acha gender kya hai??’ the forever curious Rishteydaars need to fore mostly get their terminology corrected that ‘Sex’ refers to the biological difference while Gender ‘…toh as usual aap decide kareinge!’ i.e. it is a social construct. We do the social packaging or the “Gendering” of an individual, drape them in Pink or Blue right from the time that they take birth. That is how most of the time we end up raising a tough, athletic Blue & a petite, benevolent Pink.

Blue Boy Badge vs Pink Girl Badge!!

I have  to admit being one overtly possessive mother. I just could not help being scared to let him be,  to let him go out in this big dark scary world with all its good and bad. So much so that it took quite a while to realise that my son was not a part of my body but rather an extension of myself, an individual who will have his own likes and dislikes, his own aspirations and dreams, he will live them and yes he will definitely not live my incomplete ones. He is here for himself and for this world, he is not my bank asset that I intend on cashing once I am old. I don’t want to raise my Buddhape ki lathi but an individual independent enough to take his own decisions, to make his own mistakes, fall because falling ain’t bad, learn from them & be everything he wants to irrespective of the colour he was assigned when still in the cradle.

 I feel as a parent in these high tech times their is a dire need that we be the light in our little ones life by teaching them both- ‘the Good and the Bad’.  It has been four years with him, he is learning and is out and about in this race already. Today while i was busy in my daily chores my son comes running to me demanding a kitchen set and a doll house and I am super ecstatic to buy the same for him and relive my childhood memories and we do play all afternoon, he tried to make round chapatis (i still try in vain at those). I secretly feel proud  that maybe I am doing a good job as a parent. Maybe I am not adding another shade of Blue to the already gendered section, maybe one day instead of ordering someone he’d rather cook for himself. So tomorrow if I buy guns & cars for my daughter I am secretly hinting her that “Girl, go for it…speed up, shout if you are not heard, fight back,  learn to deny..”  Maybe i am just widening their horizons, showing them that Pink and Blue are just colours of the palette. You’d rather be a Rainbow after this storm.

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Meghna Middha

An explicit romanticist, a midnight versifier, a mother scholar striving to absorb the hegemonic structures and figure out the ways we all could exit this maze. Literature emulates society, its like mirror reflecting the happenings around us. Works by writers filter out in the world and make a difference, she aspires the same with her works as a student of literature as Sigmund Freud said, “Words have a magical power. Words enable the orator to sway his audience and dictate its decision.”

10 Comments
  1. Very interesting read! I feel like it’s important to remember the difference between gender and sex. Times are shifting though, very slowly but surely.

  2. I really enjoyed this read and keep going back to “You’d rather be a rainbow after this storm.” That is a lovely way to put it and I will remember this to share with my own children. Raising girls and boys myself, I completely agree that we need to teach them the good and the bad.

  3. Quite an interesting article about parenting. For such a long time, blue and pink have been used to differentiate boys and girls. Its deep implications are rarely discussed. It is important to expand the horizon of children and encourage them to think for themselves rather than imposing ideas on them.

  4. This was a very thought provoking read. I don’t have children so this helps me understand how some parents must feel.

  5. Very interesting read! As a mom to a six-year-old girl, I am a strong believer of supporting your daughter’s interests, even at a very young age. If you are a perceptive mom, you’ll see immediately what their passions. We also encourage neutral play. My daughter loves all things pinks, but she also likes to play with male superhero toys and wrestle rough with her daddy.

    Mae | http://www.thegospelofbeauty.org

  6. Very nice post. I loved every bit of it. I think the parts in another language, which by the way I don’t understand were the best for me. There’s just something about expressing yourself in your language. I agree with the gender issue. Let the boys cook and if the girls please, they can drive trucks.

  7. A very interesting post. With my daughter who is 13 months old, I can see family members put the pink label on her and I have to say it does irritate me some. At home, I try to be neutral in the toys we give her and give her some blue. I really enjoyed reading this and it has given me so food for thought.

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