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My Story Of Surviving and Thriving

Hi Everyone,
My name is Ashley and here is my survivor story:

When I was 19 years old and I had just finished my freshman year of college I went to an off campus party near my hometown. I had just gotten off of a shift at work and arrived at the party several hours after it had begun.

I was trying to find two of my friends in order to drive them home since they had been drinking but I didn’t know the layout of the house or anyone else there.

A young man about my age offered to help me find them. He seemed nice and I welcomed the help. I remember he asked for a piece of gum but I informed him I was chewing my last one. He told me he would take that one. I thought it was odd, it probably should have been a red flag but I was naive and spit out my gum and placed it in his palm.

I remember thinking how gross it was that he was so desperate for a piece of candy that he would chew a used piece. He led me through the kitchen as we searched for my friends. I was looking for the second patio when he suggested we check a room to make sure they weren’t in there.I followed him into the dimly lit room and began to feel uneasy. Before I knew it, I tried to exit the room as it was obvious, no one else was in there. The door was locked. I fumbled with the handle and then the nightmare begun. He began to pull me into him groping my neck. I was disgusted and confused.

I yelled at him “What the fuck are you doing” “I’m seeing someone I am not interested! Leave me alone! Let me out” A wave of panic started to take over my body as I realised how much bigger and stronger he was than me. He had no intentions of letting me out.

I struggled to get free recalling my years of Shotokan karate training. Breakaways, kicks, punches, deflection it didn’t work it seemed like he was catching my limbs as I moved them.

He seemed to get enjoyment out of the struggle laughing at my failed attempts to hurt him but then he became angry. He grabbed my hair and threw me onto the floor and kicked me. I scrambled to get back up each blow I dealt was met with an even stronger opposing force.

I questioned if I would make it out alive. No one was coming to save me. How could no one here me screaming?

At some point I chose to get out alive and stopped fighting in order to do so. I disconnected with my body and felt like I was floating over myself watching it happen to someone else.

That night I lost my virginity to a monster.

A stranger that felt he could take me like a conquest or a shiny object for his collection.

I was horrified. I ran until I found my car, I got in and drove off. I wanted to leave this all behind me I just wanted to reach safety.

I didn’t call the police. I wish I had. I drove frantically for almost an hour lost.

My sense of direction was completely gone.

The months and even years after the event was not something I was prepared for.

The first year after, I lied to many of my friends and family and told them I had gotten away. It was easier and I wanted it to be true. I spun out of control at the beginning, doing anything I could to shut my brain off.

I lost many friends and set up my relationships for failure before they begun.

A year and a half later I met my husband. I was heading for a downward spiral and he brought me back to life. Meeting him was unexpected and wonderful.

Survivor-Story-Inbode-For-You
Me & My Husband

I was honest from day one about the hardships I faced and the fractured state of my mind. He stayed by my side during the highs and lows.

We had a world wind romance. It’s now been over 7 years together and I feel as strongly about him, as I did at the beginning.

Although we live an enchanted life my PTSD still creeps into my daily life. I am extremely proactive in my recovery/ healing and have a strong support system. I have found that connecting with others has been extremely beneficial in moving forward and that is what I am hoping to do with my PTSD blog.

You can connect to me HERE

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Ashley Aldous

My name is Ashley, there are a lot of things that make me, me here are a few: I am a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a mathematician trying her luck at writing, a Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Advocate, and a rape victim turned survivor.

28 Comments
  1. What an absolutely awful thing to have to go through. I’m so glad that you found your husband and he has helped you cope with this.

  2. I wish I will never have to go through what you’ve been through. Getting raped is a traumatizing experience. The act in itself but everything that come after such as victim shaming, the psychological impact, getting back on track. You have been really brave and I wish you all the best things in the world, coz you deserve it. thanks for sharing your experience. I hope it will help other survivors to make it through it. xx corinne

  3. Oh my gosh, I can’t even imagine. Thank you for being brave enough to share your story though. I know it can help others who went through the same thing. I’m glad you found your husband!

  4. It is really brave of you to come out and share your story with everybody.I am sure it’s not easy to go through something like this and then talk about it. Glad you got a good life partner.

  5. Thank you for sharing your story and not being silent. It is so important to have these stories heard to bring to light what can happen. I am happy to see you found happiness in your life.

  6. As I was reading this I was desperately hoping that it would end differently. I am so sorry that you and so many others have had to experience the horror of assault. Thank you for sharing your story. I wish you and your hubby the very best.

  7. I am sorry for what you have been through but I really loved that you find your mr. right. We may be through hardships but still I believer that there is a rainbow after the rain.

  8. Sorry to hear that you went through this heinous incident in your life! It takes a lot of courage to share your story with the world. Happy that you found your loving husband who is supporting you!

  9. That’s a very brave story .I can’t imagine how much pain you had while writing this.I think rape is a crime which needs similar punishment of PTSD and physical trauma that the victim suffers

  10. It need guts to put it out & what the hell was that person.. I wish he could have got life sentence for being a devil to an innocent person. My best wishes to u n ur husband , who has been supportive to u!

  11. What a horrible experience you had. You also have a loving husband who could stood by you to wipe your tears away. Some people do find it difficult to let 3rd party hear of such not to talk of publishing such story.

  12. I can not even begin to imagine what you have and still go through. Thank you for sharing as I’m sure it will help somebody, showing them you can move on from such traumatic events.

  13. I am so sorry for this such unfortunate event and thank you so much for sharing and hopefully this help someone who might be in the same saturation

  14. Wow, I commend your bravery in sharing with us your story. I think there is something we could all learn from your experience. It is amazing that your husband has been a pilar of support for you. I truly wish the best for you on your continuous journey!

    ~Crissy

  15. No one deserves to experience what you had, and it is good to know you are someone by your side now. Monsters doesn’t deserves to live a second chance.

  16. I’m so sorry to hear a story like this. Something like that should never happen to a person. But Congrats on 7 years! Your husband is your angel.

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