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Change the Toxic You- A Note On Self Recovery

Life challenges us into so many tornados.

In these days we often brand them into tags of depression and try to make ourselves believe, that’s were it ends. The feelings can’t be so easily categorised into just depression.

Sometimes maybe the world around us is not the one who we are up against.

Maybe it’s not just the world around us that is wrong .

Maybe we are the ones hindering our growth. And maybe we are the toxic people.

In today’s time, we are often told, we should strive on being ourselves but maybe while everyone is focused so much on that version. We are negating what sort of our personality should we adopt. And, often we end up adopting a personality that might be toxic for ourselves and others.


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In the recent light of events in my life I came across this one major fault which I was avoiding while my life had become a chaos. That fault being myself, I had traits of being a pathological liar, and some level of sociopathic behaviour.
My behavioural patterns did effect the people around me and made my relationships with other people bitter and ugly.
So, when all this happened, I realised that the reason everything was going down the drain was because I was behaving in a particular manner.
And, if not for any one, I needed to change and become; if not a better person , a non toxic person .
I was capable of giving a lot of love around and had done that in the past.
However it was either too much , too controlled or less. At this junction of my life, I realised that I had butchered many relationships with people due to my erratic behaviour and then gotten distressed because of them leaving.
My focus earlier would be on betrayal however as I tried to understand the real me however ugly or evil that person was. I realised my main problem. I needed to shed the cloak and change so that I could experience life like it was. Beautiful , happy and full of all sorts of experiences.
Faakirah Irfan

Faakirah Irfan is a women rights activist and a writer.

1 Comment
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